Forgiveness
Watch this short video with your children, then read and discuss below.
You can also check out these pages to learn more:
Take 1: How to Apologize
Take 3: The Book of Jonah
It's not always easy to forgive others. At times it's emotionally easier to bear a grudge than to let go of slights. Having a hardened heart means we are impervious to continued hurts. But it also means it's difficult to let love and friendship into our lives. Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, is a day of forgiveness. It is important to come to Yom Kippur with a clean slate. According to tradition, we are to ask each other for forgiveness and give others forgiveness before Yom Kippur. Once we are forgiven by others, we fast and pray on Yom Kippur with our communities, asking God to forgive us.
It's important to instruct our children in the act of forgiveness, first by modeling. After imposing appropriate consequences and limits, do we forgive our children when they've committed wrongs? Do we ask their forgiveness once we have hurt them, or if we've been wrong? Modeling forgiveness can help them learn to forgive us, as well as their brothers and sisters and friends.
Here is a short Parental Al Chet that you may want to say to your children (feel free to amend as needed)
Parental Al Cheit
I’ve missed the mark...
• When I yell first and think second
• When I let my stress dictate my actions
• When I prioritize poorly
• When I forget to take care of myself too
• When my underlying message to you is “do what I say and not what I do”
• When I come home and do something before giving you a hug
• When I don’t pause long enough before leaving to give you a hug
• When I forget to tell you that I love you
• When I don’t make time to tell you how proud I am of who you are and who you are becoming
• When I get upset at you when I am really just upset at myself
• When we spend more time looking at screens than at each other or at books
For all these times, my precious children, forgive me, pardon me, keep reminding me to do better.
TALK TO YOUR KIDS about the importance of forgiveness and having a day such as Yom Kippur on which we are forgiven all our sins. Share with them a time you forgave someone or where forgiven and the impact it had on your personal life.
CONNECT TO THEIR LIVES:
• What happens when you get mad? Do the feelings go away after awhile? Or do the angry feelings stay?
• Is it difficult to forgive people who have hurt you? What makes it so?
• Is it easier sometimes to forgive others than to forgive ourselves?
Adapted from Torah for Families by Rabbi Diane Esses-Cohler
It's important to instruct our children in the act of forgiveness, first by modeling. After imposing appropriate consequences and limits, do we forgive our children when they've committed wrongs? Do we ask their forgiveness once we have hurt them, or if we've been wrong? Modeling forgiveness can help them learn to forgive us, as well as their brothers and sisters and friends.
Here is a short Parental Al Chet that you may want to say to your children (feel free to amend as needed)
Parental Al Cheit
I’ve missed the mark...
• When I yell first and think second
• When I let my stress dictate my actions
• When I prioritize poorly
• When I forget to take care of myself too
• When my underlying message to you is “do what I say and not what I do”
• When I come home and do something before giving you a hug
• When I don’t pause long enough before leaving to give you a hug
• When I forget to tell you that I love you
• When I don’t make time to tell you how proud I am of who you are and who you are becoming
• When I get upset at you when I am really just upset at myself
• When we spend more time looking at screens than at each other or at books
For all these times, my precious children, forgive me, pardon me, keep reminding me to do better.
TALK TO YOUR KIDS about the importance of forgiveness and having a day such as Yom Kippur on which we are forgiven all our sins. Share with them a time you forgave someone or where forgiven and the impact it had on your personal life.
CONNECT TO THEIR LIVES:
• What happens when you get mad? Do the feelings go away after awhile? Or do the angry feelings stay?
• Is it difficult to forgive people who have hurt you? What makes it so?
• Is it easier sometimes to forgive others than to forgive ourselves?
Adapted from Torah for Families by Rabbi Diane Esses-Cohler