Saying Sorry - Teshuva
Watch this short video and read the following passage with your child/ren.
During Rosh HaShanah, the Jewish New Year, we celebrate the birthday of the world, but it is so much more than that. Rosh HaShanah is a time when we can make a fresh start. We think about how much we've grown throughout the past year and how we can do even better in the new year.
It is a time to take a good, long, gentle look in the mirror and think:
What accomplishments am I most proud of?
What mistakes have I made and what can I learn from them?
What do I want to do differently or better in the coming year?
What new things should I try? What old habits should I give up?
Now that you have had a chance to think about your own personal goals for the new year, let's brainstorm about how we as a community can improve. Everyone has problems, challenges, and struggles. Parents, teachers, scientists, politicians. Everyone has something they want to do better. Look around and think about your school, your friends, your office, your neighborhood, your country and think:
What can we do better?
How can we do it better?
Choose one problem to focus on. What solutions can you think of for this problem?
How can you get others to help fix this problem?
For Parents:
Rosh Hashanah is a wonderful opportunity to share with your child your own experience apologizing. Explain to your child that it's difficult and sometimes embarrassing to admit you've done something wrong and then apologize. Think of an example of something that you did and wished you hadn't done. Perhaps choose an example that allows you to apologize to your child. Maybe you are a little impatient with them getting ready for school in the mornings. Maybe you have sacrificed quality family time for work. Find an example, explain how you would like to improve and apologize.
Then, go beyond that.
Demonstrate how to implement a plan to improve over the next year.
Your conversation might go something like this: "I've noticed that I get very impatient with you in the mornings when we are leaving for school. I'm sorry that I've yelled at you or been short tempered with you during those mornings. Next year, I want to work on this. Instead of rushing in the mornings, let's get our things ready the night before. This way we wake up prepared and we don't have to scramble. That will help me be calmer in the mornings." It's important not to assign blame or to be hyper critical. Instead, think clearly about a peaceful solution that helps everyone.
When we model this calm approach to owning up to our mistakes, we make a big impression on our children. Kids listen better when we talk about ourselves. They don’t feel defensive. We demonstrate that we all have thinks to wrong on. We give our kids the permission to think, “Wow, I guess even adults have to work on themselves. Maybe I’m not so bad….”
It is a time to take a good, long, gentle look in the mirror and think:
What accomplishments am I most proud of?
What mistakes have I made and what can I learn from them?
What do I want to do differently or better in the coming year?
What new things should I try? What old habits should I give up?
Now that you have had a chance to think about your own personal goals for the new year, let's brainstorm about how we as a community can improve. Everyone has problems, challenges, and struggles. Parents, teachers, scientists, politicians. Everyone has something they want to do better. Look around and think about your school, your friends, your office, your neighborhood, your country and think:
What can we do better?
How can we do it better?
Choose one problem to focus on. What solutions can you think of for this problem?
How can you get others to help fix this problem?
For Parents:
Rosh Hashanah is a wonderful opportunity to share with your child your own experience apologizing. Explain to your child that it's difficult and sometimes embarrassing to admit you've done something wrong and then apologize. Think of an example of something that you did and wished you hadn't done. Perhaps choose an example that allows you to apologize to your child. Maybe you are a little impatient with them getting ready for school in the mornings. Maybe you have sacrificed quality family time for work. Find an example, explain how you would like to improve and apologize.
Then, go beyond that.
Demonstrate how to implement a plan to improve over the next year.
Your conversation might go something like this: "I've noticed that I get very impatient with you in the mornings when we are leaving for school. I'm sorry that I've yelled at you or been short tempered with you during those mornings. Next year, I want to work on this. Instead of rushing in the mornings, let's get our things ready the night before. This way we wake up prepared and we don't have to scramble. That will help me be calmer in the mornings." It's important not to assign blame or to be hyper critical. Instead, think clearly about a peaceful solution that helps everyone.
When we model this calm approach to owning up to our mistakes, we make a big impression on our children. Kids listen better when we talk about ourselves. They don’t feel defensive. We demonstrate that we all have thinks to wrong on. We give our kids the permission to think, “Wow, I guess even adults have to work on themselves. Maybe I’m not so bad….”
